Panic Attacks Don't Have to “Have You in a Choke Hold”
You are not dying. You are not going crazy. And you are definitely not alone. Here's what panic attacks really are — and how to loosen their grip.
It starts without warning. Your heart pounds so hard you can feel it in your throat. Your chest tightens like a vice. You can't catch your breath. Your hands go numb. A wave of terror crashes over you, and somewhere in the back of your mind, a thought forms that you can't shake: I'm dying. Something is VERY wrong. I need to get out of here!
You rush to the emergency room, bracing for the worst. The doctors run every test. And then they come back with results that should be a relief, it should provide anwsers but somehow feel even more confusing because they say: everything is fine.
If that story sounds familiar, there's something important you need to know: what you experienced may have been a panic attack. And you are far from alone. Many people visit the emergency room a few times before they are told or able to assess that something else is at play here. A panic attack is a type of psychosomatic response where intense mental distress or fear triggers severe, involuntary physical symptoms.
You're Not Imagining It, and You're Not Weak
Panic attacks are one of the most misunderstood experiences in mental health. Millions of people have them. They cut across every background, age group, and walk of life. And yet, because the physical symptoms are so overwhelming and so real, the first instinct is almost always to assume something is physically wrong with the heart, the lungs, the brain, etc.
Facts: A panic attack is your body's fight-or-flight response misfiring. It's a very real, very physical, physiological event, and it feels very serious. Your nervous system is sounding an alarm when there is no fire. The symptoms in your body are preparing to either fight a threat or flee from one. The racing heart? It's pumping blood to your muscles. The shortness of breath? Your body is trying to take in more oxygen. The dizziness? Hyperventilation changing your blood chemistry.
It is terrifying. It is real. And it is not dangerous.
That being said, if you are helping someone through a panic attack, it’s important to validate their feelings and not dismiss them. Just because it’s “not dangerous” doesn’t mean it’s not traumatic.
If you've been to the ER or your doctor and been told everything checks out, and this has happened more than once, consider talking to your provider specifically about anxiety and panic disorder. Getting a proper assessment is the first step toward real relief.
Could This Be Connected to Trauma?
For many people, panic attacks don't come out of nowhere — they have roots. Trauma is one of the most common and most overlooked contributors to anxiety and panic disorder. This doesn't necessarily mean a single dramatic event. Trauma can be the accumulation of years of stress, difficult relationships, a childhood that never felt quite safe, or an experience your mind never fully processed.
The body keeps score. When your nervous system has been conditioned over time to expect threat, it can become hypervigilant, always scanning, always on guard. Panic attacks can be the result of that hypervigilance reaching a tipping point. Your anxiety latches onto a fear, sometimes a specific one, like driving, crowds, exercise, flying, a certain smell, a sensation in the body, or being alone; it could be anything, and your brain uses that as its focal point.
Recognizing that there may be a deeper root doesn't make panic attacks your fault. It actually opens a door — because if there's a root, there's a path to healing.
There Are Tools That Can Help
The good news is that panic attacks are one of the most treatable experiences in mental health. It will require hard mental work and diligence, but you don't have to white-knuckle your way through life or enclose yourself in your room the rest of your life. There are real, evidence-based programs and tools designed specifically for this. Below are only a few you can start on your own:
The DARE method (Defuse, Allow, Run Toward, Engage), teaches people to move toward their anxiety rather than fleeing from it. This approach is grounded in the idea that the resistance to panic, the fear of the fear, is often what fuels it. ( link for book here* #commissionearned)
Diaphragmatic breathing (slow, belly breathing to calm the nervous system in the moment)
Grounding techniques like the 5-4-3-2-1 method: engaging your senses to anchor yourself in the present
Journaling to identify patterns, triggers, and the specific fears your anxiety tends to fixate on
Mindfulness and meditation apps (Calm, Headspace, etc) as daily nervous system regulators
Finding a therapist who has experience in treating panic attacks and follow their guidance.
Why You Probably Can't Just 'Think' Your Way Out
This part matters, and it's worth saying clearly: panic attacks are genuinely difficult to resolve on your own, especially if they're persistent, frequent, or connected to trauma. Self-help tools are valuable, but your neural pathways need rewiring, and that work best when paired with professional support. It’s courageous work you can start today.
Therapy, particularly Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and trauma-focused approaches like EMDR*, has one of the strongest track records for treating panic disorder. Sometimes medications can be helpful as well. Remember, a good therapist doesn't just give you coping strategies and listen. They help you understand why your nervous system learned to respond this way, and they walk with you through the process of rewiring it.
Asking for that kind of help is not a sign that something is fundamentally broken in you. It's a sign that you're taking your own life seriously enough to invest in it.
You Can Loosen the Grip
Living with panic attacks doesn't have to be your permanent reality. What feels like an iron grip right now can loosen — gradually, with the right support, the right tools, and the willingness to approach fear differently.
If you're in the thick of it right now, hear this: you are not dying. You are not going crazy. Your body is doing something it learned to do, and what is learned can be unlearned. People recover from this every single day. You can too.
If you or someone you know is struggling with anxiety, panic attacks, or related mental health challenges, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional. You don't have to figure this out alone.
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**I personally recommend these excellent books. If you purchase these books using these links, then I will receive a small commission:
EMDR: If you are working through trauma and considering EMDR, 5 hrs 2 mins. (Link here)
If you want a more clinical approach + self-help tips written by the creator of the modality. 12 hrs 2 mins (Link here)
Panic and Severe Anxiety: If you want a step-by-step structure to help end panic attacks, I’ve seen this book change lives. 6hr 19 mins. (Link here)
General Emotional Intelligence: Simple advice we all need to hear again. 3hr 44 mins. (Link Here)
IFS “Parts work”: If you have an imagination and are ready for deep work, and want to increase self-compassion. 8 hrs 10 mins. (Link Here)
